Your Home, ADHD & Getting Sh*t Done

“Stop dilly-dallying, Jolene,” my mother would say back in grade school in the 60s. Gasp… yes, I’m a boomer, and ADHD was not even in our vocabulary back then, or at least not in a big way. I was probably procrastinating doing what I didn’t feel compelled to do, like the dishes or getting ready for school. But isn’t that all kids? On the other hand, I was always a perfectionist and found that order was a way to feel in control.

Can Perfectionists and Highly Organized People Have ADHD?

Surprisingly, the answer is yes. After my mother passed away in 2016, I found time capsules of my youth in our family home. A striking reminder of how long ago my perfectionism started was finding my geometry notes neatly written in a small ring binder. There is no way I could write that neatly in class while frantically taking notes, so I would go home and rewrite them neatly. Looking back, I could focus deeply on some things, while other things I found boring and unstimulating. 

My geometry notes. There were 30 something pages like these!

This article from ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association confirms this. Here are some things referenced in the article that I can raise my hand to:

• Having higher standards or expectations of yourself than what’s required

• Re-checking work over and over again

• Spending a prolonged amount of time on your tasks

• Feeling very fearful or anxious about making mistakes

And many others. Just click on the article to see how many you check off.

The TikTok Diagnosis

Before you roll your eyes, hear me out. There are many people with credentials who speak on this subject, along with people who have been clinically diagnosed, sharing their experiences. As a professional organizer, I obviously can’t diagnose anyone. I ask in my intake questionnaire about certain brain-based conditions to make sure one - that I’m qualified to take on the job, and two - if I take the job, how to make the best recommendations for managing the client’s household. According to TikTok, I’m either ADHD, depressed, and/or autistic. According to the three physicians I spoke to, I’m just depressed. As a result, depression leads to a lack of focus, but I've also learned that ADHD also leads to depression and anxiety. So now I'm even more confused.

Non-Existent Diagnosis and Late Diagnosis

When I asked one physician if I could be ADHD, he responded that I would have been diagnosed in childhood. A second physician said, “Well, if you are, then you’ve found ways to cope with it.” A therapist told a friend who suspected he was ADHD that he would not have been able to finish college if he were ADHD. 

Is it any wonder we are self-diagnosing through TikTok? Getting diagnosed as an adult has proven difficult for many reasons.  There are overlapping systems, such as depression and anxiety, that mimic ADHD. Recent data from the Oregon Health & Science University shows: 

• Adults: While 2%–5% is a standard range, recent data suggests up to 6% of U.S. adults (15.5 million) have a current ADHD diagnosis.

• Rising Trends: Diagnoses are increasing, with some reports showing adult prevalence rising from 6.1% to 10.2% over two decades.

• Diagnosis Gap: It is estimated that less than 20% of adults with ADHD are aware they have it. 

  
  

While I’m not advocating for self-diagnosis, my point is to select your clinician carefully.

The Role of Professional Organizers

Again, we are not clinicians to diagnose or treat systems. Our job is to set up systems that are sustainable to your unique needs, leading with empathy and not shame. Such as:

• Helping with the decision fatigue of letting go

• Designing a household with systems that work in tandem with each other and not against each other.

• Simplifying routines

• Coaching habit formation and mindfulness

• Stopping clutter at its source versus repeating the cause

Here are some simple suggestions to get started in your household:

• Run the dishwasher frequently so unloading doesn’t seem like a chore. Dishes won’t pile up at the sink while the dishwasher remains unloaded.

• Limit handwashing dishes. I only hand-wash knives (the water dulls them in the dishwasher), pots and pans, wooden cutting boards, water bottles (the dishwasher can break down the vacuum seals), or anything the manufacturer specifically states to hand-wash. 

• Turn laundry day into laundry week. Wash in categories on separate days, so it’s not overwhelming to do. A good system involves separating sheets, towels, and clothing into multiple days. 

• Put away versus put down to curb clutter.

• Place baskets and trays to catch daily clutter like mail, keys, chargers, etc.

Implement Forcing Functions

One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I tend to act out of a sense of urgency instead of thinking I have all the time in the world (the latter is when I procrastinate). Curbing the amount of things like socks, underwear, towels, etc., will force you to take action sooner than later. And while I’m accustomed to hearing people tell me they will buy new underwear when they run out, that’s not solving a problem. Hiring a professional organizer isn’t a one-size-fits-all or an all-inclusive solution. Finding the right professional organizer is like finding the right clinician. You can find organizers who specialize in brain-based conditions at https://napo.empowereddirectory.com. If you are interested in working with us, please visit our website to set up a complimentary discover call.

Jolene Monaco, CPO®, is a board-certified professional organizer and founder of Habitually Organized® based in Dallas, TX. Habitually Organized specializes in move management and residential and business organization. After 28 years in aerospace, Jolene worked as a Realtor®, an experience that now informs her strategic approach to preparing homes, managing moves, and creating systems that support how people actually live.