Sorry Adult Kids…Your Parents Don’t Want Your Stuff Anymore
Sorry Kids!
Years ago, I wrote Nobody Wants Your Parents Stuff, but that’s a story to revisit another time. If anyone has aging parents, there comes a time when their roles, unfortunately, get switched. We become the caretakers, the ones who arrange doctor appointments and try to safeguard them from con artists preying on the elderly and whatnot. But there’s a window when they are happily empty nesters enjoying their freedom and, in many cases, downsizing.
In my mother’s case, the downsizing never happened. If you’ve read my previous writings, you will see I often reference my mother’s hoarding disorder. That’s a story for another time. My former very cool bedroom from the 70s got turned into a storage room of stuff. I vaguely remember my mother saying if you want any of your stuff, you better come and get it. Well, that never happened either. I did find much of “my stuff” buried in the chaos after my mother’s death. While I tossed most of it, I was grateful to find some cherished mementos of concert tickets when they were $5 to see the Rolling Stones and David Bowie.
Fast forward to my current life organizing homes, where I consider every inch of real estate precious. For several reasons, some parents want to hang onto their children’s childhood belongings. Some are just sentimental and not ready to let go. Others have the intention their grandchildren will want them. The latter is unlikely because kids really want new stuff, not their parents' catcher's mitt from the 80s. I recall adding an overhead storage rack in a client’s garage to store tubs of each of her children’s mementos. The client asked when it was time for the kids to get their stuff. In a perfect world where everyone listens to me, it’s as soon as they start adulting and out on their own. Seeing our client paying for the rack and our labor to store these items pained me.
If your parents aren’t as thoughtful about your stuff as my client's, you may want to reclaim them before they go to the nearest donation drop-off or garage sale. Does anyone remember the Friends episode when Monica’s parents turned her old bedroom into a workout room?
So before they donate your pet rock collection, just save yourself the future therapy or resentment and get your stuff. And if you don’t want to burden your children with going through this stuff when the time comes, here are my suggestions on how to part with it:
Donate it all. Yes, keep it simple. You’ve lived without all this and never missed it. I suggest photographing anything you want to remember that doesn't serve a purpose in your home. Also, don’t guilt trip other family members into keeping your stuff because of the value you assign to it. I don’t have any complex rules for what to keep or not. Keep what you love and use, and leave space to live in the present.
Need Mother’s Day gift ideas for the person who has everything but no place to put it? Consider a gift certificate for professional organizing services!
Jolene Monaco, CPO,® is a board-certified professional organizer. She is a professional member of NAPO - National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals and a former board member of NAPO-DFW. She holds an inactive real estate license in the State of Texas and is currently on the affiliate committee of MetroTex Association of Realtors. Before becoming a professional organizer, Jolene worked for 28 years in domestic and international aerospace sales and jet engine maintenance operations.
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